My sincere apologies for the extended break I took from the Keepin’ It Real Rewinds series. Too often I find myself consumed by the present to recollect the past. However, I am often reminded of the true miracles that surround me daily, and I feel compelled to share the story of God’s grace and goodness with all of you.
Let’s rewind to about week 13 of my quad pregnancy when I was preparing for one of the scariest days of my life…
I’ve written before about my prenatal Transabdominal Cerclage Surgery in the past, but without getting too terribly medical, it’s a surgery that involves a c-section incision, momentarily pulling the bladder and uterus outside the body, and placing a band that lassos around the uterus in an effort to keep the babies gestating inside the uterus for as long as possible. My high risk obstetrician has performed more than anyone in the world and is leading the research field in this procedure significantly decreasing the risks of cervical incompetence and pre-term labor.
We wanted to do anything and everything humanly possible to keep the babies growing inside of me for as long as my body would allow. Although there was no proof that my cervix wouldn’t be able to hold the pressure of 4 babies, to us it wasn’t worth the risk of finding out through losing the pregnancy before viability. We talked to several mothers who had lost babies to cervical incompetence, and those who had successful pregnancies post TAC. We carefully weighed the risks and prayed fervently, and in the end felt strongly compelled to go through with this involved procedure.
On Friday September 22, 2006 the morning of my scheduled surgery, I woke up to bleeding, and feeling like I may have been losing one or more of the babies. We loaded my packed suitcases and headed in for an ultrasound, not knowing what we might find. Would there be 4 heartbeats? 3? 1?
Please Lord, let there be at least one!
My desire to be a mother had never been stronger. Although fear surrounded me, there was a sense of peace and calm that surrounded Brad and I the entire day. God’s grace was present once again in our uncertainties.
I laid on the examination table, staring intently at the screen, searching for heartbeats and counting them in my head, and waiting for our ultrasound tech to confirm my untrained eyes.
Baby A. Baby B. Baby C. Baby D.
Four strong beating heartbeats. Four little lives that I desperately wanted to do anything in my power to save. Four little beings that represented my own flesh and blood, yet formed by the Creator of the Universe.
But wait, there was another surprise in store for us during the ultrasound.
This surprise was responsible for putting the largest smile on my husbands face that I have ever witnessed and nearly gave me a heart attack.
All of this before heading in to a major surgery…
If you would like to read my account of our journey through infertility and an extreme high-risk pregnancy, I’ve linked each post. I hope that it is an encouragement for any of you who may be experiencing this difficult road. There’s more to come…
KIRR 05: BFN (Big Fat Negative)
KIRR 06: BFP (Big Fat Positive)