Although it’s a bit of a blur now, the uncertain days of the first trimester seemed to last a lifetime. Every week, we returned to my RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) to complete blood work and count heartbeats while we held our breaths. Although we knew that one or more of the embryos disappearing or absorbing would be a more favorable outlook for the rest of the babies; We breathed a sigh of relief each time the fourth heartbeat was accounted for, knowing that God had chosen to sustain life yet another week.
Ultimately I chose to trust God’s sovereignty in each of those growing little bodies, but I struggled every single day with our circumstances. I attempted to prepare myself for the worst case scenario, yet I wanted to believe that God could save all of them. He was the God of miracles, right? He would work all things according to His purpose. He promised to do so, but I wrestled with trusting Him completely.
Because of the increased risk due to the mono-mono complication and the fragility of a high order multiple pregnancy, we kept a very short-list of people who knew about our quadruplet pregnancy during the first trimester. It was SUCH an involved, complex, emotionally-loaded, time consuming, conversation. (In fact, I’m STILL explaining Monoamniotic Monochorionic Twins, over two years later!) The idea of triplets was daunting enough without throwing in another number and complication that we ourselves didn’t understand completely. Looking back, would I let more people be "in the know"? Perhaps. I think it was our coping strategy to deal with the exponential unknowns.
Physically, I was handling the demands of a multiple pregnancy incredibly well. Although I dealt with serious fatigue and fell asleep to the music of Final Jeopardy most evenings, I was able to keep
meals snacks down with ease.I even went the whole trimester without purchasing a single maternity clothing item. (Thanks to the rubber band trick I learned from Natalie!) Working my speech therapy job at the school was tiring, but I enjoyed the distraction of the kids, and the support of my colleagues.
Towards the end of the first trimester, I was referred to our perinatologist, Dr. Sumners, who would take over my care exclusively. If I remember correctly our initial appointment went well over 3 hours. (Our doctor was in an emergency c-section for a woman having her 14th baby. Apparently there’s no stopping the fourteenth!) However, our prolonged wait was no accident. A photographer was in the office doing a shoot for an upcoming brochure, featuring 10 month old QUADRUPLETS on the cover! While we waited, we were able to observe them interacting, and
interrogate ask their mom a million questions about her own experience. We could hardly believe our eyes! We barely knew quadruplets existed before now, and here they were right before our very eyes smiling, climbing, giggling, ALIVE and HEALTHY! So incredibly healthy!
Meeting Denise and her babies became our "living proof" that with God all things are possible and filled us with a new hope…