If you are new to 4tunate, you might be new to KIRR (Keepin’ It Real Rewinds). I’m in the process of getting our story down on "paper", detailing our journey of infertility that led to an extreme high risk quadruplet pregnancy. You can catch up on the Rewind Series HERE.
After finding out that we were positively pregnant, the two weeks that followed were pure bliss. Although I knew my risk for miscarriage was elevated (due to my PCOS), it was a victory to know that my body was capable of becoming pregnant. Regardless of whether we carried to a full term, I knew that God had granted our desire to become parents. We decided to keep the news between immediate family until our first ultrasound, and it was a joy to have such an intimate secret to share with loved ones.
During our two week wait we had several conversations involving the "what if" questions. What IF there’s more than one? I purposefully tried to dismiss the idea of twins. I desperately wanted children, so if that was God’s way of accomplishing that desire, then I knew He would give me the grace, but honestly, I thought twins would be overwhelming. I wanted to be able to give individual attention to one baby, instead of being an attention drawing family. Hilarious, right? Brad in his naivety, envisioned all the positives of having twins and became partial to the idea. Fourteen days couldn’t come quick enough…
The night before our first ultrasound, Brad and I went out of town for his cousins wedding. We celebrated the night together and with giddiness talked about our little "baby".
However, the next day brought more than 1 surprise. Anxiously we gazed at the black and white screen as our nurse, Lisa scanned for a viable embryo. She was strangely and uncomfortably quiet as we waited for her to interpret what she was observing. I vividly remember seeing what I thought was 2 sacks followed by silence that lingered for minutes. As I lay motionless on the table, Brad spoke up with, "What are you thinking, Lisa?" I’ll never forget her quiet reply.
"I’m still counting."
Panic swept over me. Was this some kind of bad dream? Was I going to be the breaking news story of the evening? "Woman becomes pregnant with 17 babies". I thought of the McCaughey septuplets. I thought about our normal little life as we knew it.
Lisa left the room to get my doctor. I knew this wasn’t good news….
They were looking carefully at one of the sacks that appeared bigger and different than the others. After examining it momentarily, they concluded that it was "just one". I still didn’t know the total count.
"How many then?"
Although I was completely shocked (especially after having a conservative cycle with "2" viable eggs), I couldn’t help but feel relief over the number 3. Sure, this would be a higher risk pregnancy. No, this wasn’t what I had in mind. But three isn’t that freakish of a number.
And I most certainly wouldn’t make the six o’clock news…
1st Ultrasound August 7, 2006