By: Jennifer Murray

Finding Beauty in the Brokenness: The Everyday

finding-beauty-in-the-brokenness-everyday

 

I’ve been upright for three days straight now, and still beyond thankful that I didn’t need another surgery to fix things. The fog is lifting, and I’m able to see clearer.

Brad and I laid in bed talking last night about a lot of the pain we’ve walked through and how we are processing things…which was the first time in a long time that we’ve been able to check-in with each other, and be able to talk about it freely without the physical side of things consuming all of our thoughts.

I’m seeing beauty in the everyday again.

In Starbucks cake pops. In sunshine. In being able to be there for someone else in a time of need instead of being the taker. In worship. In essential oils that make my heart {among other things} feel better. In being able to smile again. In listening to the birds sing. In a walk around the block after being sedentary. In the quiet after 4 boys are finally tucked in bed. In a weather forecast that is above 30 degrees.  

Healing doesn’t come at once, it comes in doses.

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Over the weekend I made 2 meals for my family and I felt like someone should throw me a party. I mean, really?  Did you see that? I put food together, and put it on plates, and fed 6 people. When is my medal ceremony? 

It’s moments like these that we’re welcoming and celebrating the “normal” again, even if it’s not quite there or looks unfamiliar.

The thing about being empty is the consciousness of the good things that surround you, when you start being refilled little by little.

 

Other Posts in This Series:

Finding Beauty in the Brokenness: Books
Finding Beauty in the Brokenness: Bible Verses
Finding Beauty in the Brokenness: Music

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By: Jennifer Murray

The Room I Don’t Have To Enter Tomorrow….

empty-operating-room

 

Surgery cancelled.

Prayers answered.

Hearts grateful.

End in sight.

{Thank you all for your continued prayers, concern, and your outpouring of love.}

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By: Jennifer Murray

the unknowns…

trusting-God-in-the-waiting-and-unknowns



I’m not sure if you’ve figured this out about me yet, but I’m a planner. 

I like to know what’s coming, and prepare for it accordingly. 

Patience isn’t my spiritual gift. 

I’m most comfortable with security in knowing what to expect, and I don’t think I’m the only one who feels this way…

Last night the unknowns of this week ahead started to feel heavier as my head hit the pillow. (It’s when fear seems to always strike me. The ending moments of the day in the darkness.)

Will there be another surgery this week?  Will this week be the ending of  this long and difficult physical trial? How painful will tomorrow be? Will the boys be okay going through another uncertain week? How can I guard my heart? 

I was quickly reminded that there are so many hard things to wait for in this life, and so many much more difficult to bare than my own.

Waiting for results for a potential returning cancer, waiting to find out if the home you love will be taken, waiting to find out if a child’s marriage is going to end in divorce, waiting for excruciating pain to lessen, waiting to see if a loved one is going to turn the corner…

The brokenness of this world is so real around us. 

This morning I started my morning reading Psalms 27.  I’ve been reading A Shelter in the Time of Storm, which is a book written based upon the hope of this psalm for a broken world. It ends with “Wait for the Lord: be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” 

I think it’s no accident that David repeats, “Wait for the Lord”, twice in one breath. We need to be reminded every thought during the unknown days. It’s waiting with purpose. It’s not waiting that is filled with impatience or annoyance. It’s a waiting filled with strength and courage.

This waiting isn’t without reason, and neither is yours. It’s not time wasted or lost. God can use this time in our lives to mold and shape us, as we are all the more desperate for His grace.

Today I’m praying for courage and strength for my unknowns this week, and the uncertainties you may be facing in your own struggles.

 

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