By: Jennifer Murray

Because a A Life is a Life No Matter How Small…

Today marks what would have been #5’s first birthday. A day that could have been filled with messy cake hands, squeals of delight, playing with boxes, and a crowded room singing “Happy Birthday”.

But it was not to be.

Brad and I talked a little about it today for the first time in a while. Our hearts have mended, but the scar remains.

We talked about how good of big brothers these boys could have been and how we still miss that life that we were given for such a short while.

It simply just isn’t something you get over or learn to forget. In fact, I don’t want to. I’m glad that it still hurts. I’m thankful for the pain. I’m thankful that tears still come to my eyes quickly when I think about it.

Because that shows that their precious life mattered. 

I know my tears are not isolated.  There are so so many of us who have had to say goodbye before we’ve said hello.  These babies were made for heaven. Their lives spared the decay of this world – rescued from pain, hurt, sorrow, greed, envy, deceit, corruption, and evil.

Yet we mourn and we wish it didn’t have to be so, because sometimes the days seem long that we have to wait to be reunited. And sometimes the questions swallow up our spirit. And sometimes grief comes uninvited.

But even this shows proof of your existence.  A small life that impacted us forever and never forgotten. 

miscarriage-quote-etsy

Image Source: Etsy
 
 

 

8 Responses to “Because a A Life is a Life No Matter How Small…”

  1. Crystal
    July 28, 2015 at 1:28 pm #

    Ah Jen, that’s hard. I acknowledge this child’s life and send you hugs across the miles.
    Crystal recently posted.. Of Home Studies, Home Runs & Home Movings

  2. Paula
    July 28, 2015 at 11:55 pm #

    Dearest Ones,
    What a true testimony this is! Jennifer, my
    heart aches for you all. I want you to
    know you are such a Powerful Witness of
    The Lord’s and, how very much you mean
    to so many, especially me! I love watching
    those 4 handsome sons growi up &
    watching such awesome young men they
    shall become. Love in Christ..Psalm 91:11

  3. ohAmanda
    July 29, 2015 at 2:42 pm #

    Jen: I’ve been thinking about it lately, too. I don’t really have anything to say. Just that I love you.

    a
    ohAmanda recently posted.. Treasure Hunter Week

  4. Covington Grandma
    July 30, 2015 at 12:03 am #

    Understanding your thoughts, emotions, and tears. Sharing your expectations of being reunited in Heaven,.

  5. Grandma Murray
    July 30, 2015 at 1:29 am #

    My love to you. I too think about that precious little life we never had the chance to show how much we could love a grandchild. Heavy on my heart.

  6. Amy-Jo Sather
    July 31, 2015 at 11:52 am #

    Jen that was writing so beautifully. I wish I had better words to share with you as I have typed and erased many things. I will send much love and many hugs your way. xoxo

  7. Melanie
    August 4, 2015 at 7:28 pm #

    What a beautiful post! I have been a follower for years, but don’t guess I’ve ever taken the time to comment. However, I truly get your pain. My husband and I lost our baby at 12 weeks in March. We should be delivering our first child in September, but instead, we are still trying (we have fertility issues too). Thank you for sharing your story! Praying for you!

  8. Joanna @ kids activities dubai
    August 13, 2015 at 10:55 am #

    Thanks for sharing this Jenny.Hope this can find its way to other mothers who went through as tough a time as you did.

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