The Messes I Make in This Beautiful Life

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Yesterday was one of those long good days of motherhood. Brad was gone before the sun and not home until past the boys bedtime, which usually means I take the easy route for the day. I go into survival mode (which I know is probably making you single moms and moms where this is norm choke on your coffee) I know I’m extremely spoiled with an highly involved husband who tag teams with me daily.

Instead of hunkering down and plowing through the day at home, we did things differently than my typical M.O. We did lots. We homeschooled in three different locations, we went to a Bible study at my church, we stopped by to visit some friends that helped us take care of the boys those early preemie days, and we went and saw my MIL an hour from here who is down one organ (gallbladder).

It was one full day, but it lacked stress, dread, or a “just get through it attitude” on my part.

At the end of the day when I was tucking in freshly bathed boys and praying over them, I thanked God profusely for giving me the best job on earth. And it struck me that my boys have never heard me pray that before.

Sure I tell them I’m glad to be their mama, and I don’t know what I would do without them, and other affectionate phrases often, but I had never thanked God for the role that He’s given me aloud with their listening ears.

I have it so so good.

And how often do I miss it just trying to survive the moment? Contentment isn’t in dreams, or I wish I coulds, or getting through stages, it’s in the now.

How many days of gratitude have I exchanged for days of counting up the ways the day went wrong or how they could have behaved better, or how things didn’t align just so, or being overwhelmed with the “crisis” of the moment…?

Oh the messes I make in this beautiful life!