By: Jennifer Murray

What I’m Running From…

What I'm Running From

I’m about six months now into this running journey.  I started off kicking and screaming, and sometimes I still want to quit and hang up my sneakers.  Running is hard for me both physically and mentally. I keep waiting for the battle to subside, but I continue to persevere through the pain and the part of me that wants to take the easy way out

I need to frequently remind myself of how I got here.  Last spring, I could only run to one stop sign, stop and walk, run to the next stop sign, and continue those intervals for about 20 minutes.  I could barely run around the whole block with the boys without stopping. (The year before that there was no way I could endure the pain of running with no core muscles to support me.)

I know what it was like to have a body that couldn’t run, and I’m dedicated to making the best of the one I’ve been given.  And thank goodness for accountability and my #1 teammate, Brad, who puts up with my whining, desperate texts mid-run, and disbelief in myself. He is so much of the reason that I’ve stuck it out, and I’m so incredibly grateful.

I’m going to keep running.  Not because I love it, or because it feels good. I have some things that I need to run from…

the voices that tell me I’m not strong enough.

the pain that will get better as I get stronger.

the excuses.

the part of me that thinks easy is somehow better.

the lies that say that I’m not legit.

the old me.

 

So far this week I’ve ran over two miles twice.  My speed is slow, and my distance isn’t where I want it to be yet, but I’m progressing.  I need to choose to celebrate these small strides. I need to keep lacing up my shoes and fighting the “I can’t” excuses.

One foot in front of the other. One stride at a time.

So tell me what are YOU running (walking, etc.) from?

10 Responses to “What I’m Running From…”

  1. Barbara
    April 25, 2013 at 11:12 am #

    Congratulations on your progress! Just remember you are worth it and it feels great when you have accomplished each individual run. I have started a walking program and I am walking away from a weight problem. Every time my work out feels overwhelming I think of that fraction of a pound I have left behind with the last step I took. I look at what I am walking from but also what I am walking towards which is the person I want to become (I know that person is in there just waiting to be shown to the world).
    Keep up the good work and thanks for the inspiration.

  2. Crystal
    April 25, 2013 at 11:43 am #

    You’re doing so well! When I started running at age 14 (and I wasn’t overweight or anything), I couldn’t run a mile without collapsing in a heap at the end. I’m still not fast (I will qualify for Boston if I keep my running my same marathon time AT AGE 90), but I am strong, fit, petite and happy. And so are you! So proud of you!
    Crystal recently posted.. We Cry Before We Smile

  3. Sarah @ Loved Like the Church
    April 25, 2013 at 3:08 pm #

    I love this, Jen! I have such a passion for running, but still think it can blow some times. Ha! I run from anxiety, worries, stresses, and that voice in my head that tells me I’m not good enough.
    Sarah @ Loved Like the Church recently posted.. The Tragedy with Tragedy – How the Boston Marathon Bombing Is Effecting Me

  4. Jan
    April 25, 2013 at 5:19 pm #

    You go, girl! I’ve been running for some 18 years, although I am now facing the possible end of my running…or at least some serious slowing down. The benefits are huge – and there’s nothing better than saying “I’m a runner”. Not to mention the multiple biblical analogies that make all the more sense when we’ve experienced it ourselves!

  5. Trine @ Creative Pink Butterfly
    April 26, 2013 at 3:08 am #

    That is so good! I just started running again after a looong winter! I will not run when there is snow and ice on the ground in case i get injured.

    And I am running away from ZOMBIES! I just downloaded the Zombies, Run app for my iPhone. I did it once yesterday and ran further and faster than I have done for a looong time. Theres something about having zombies chase after you that really gets you going!

    I am running my second 10k this summer and with the time 1.20 last time (not to impressive but I was sick and I had not been training that much I am hoping to be under the hour this time!
    Trine @ Creative Pink Butterfly recently posted.. Bathroom Organizing

  6. Allison
    April 26, 2013 at 10:15 am #

    I always always hated running. Growing up I had some health issues, which didn’t help. I also had a strict PE coach that I hated. Until last fall, when I finally tried running. I halfheartedly started a Couch-to-5K app, but wasn’t really keeping up with it.

    Then, in October, my mom died quite suddenly from a heart attack. And the first thing I did the next morning was run. I was a crying jogger for a while, but didn’t really have a routine. but at least I was running.

    Since January, I’ve been doing a fitness boot camp 3 times a week. The first day we had to run a mile and I couldn’t even run the whole thing. But, a month later, I ran it in under 11 minutes, which was a big boost to my self-confidence. Me, who hated to run!

    Now, I find myself wanting to run on my “off” days. There is something addictive about it!

    Way to go for you! What an accomplishment just to run — I know the feeling. And though I didn’t have quads, I know how it is to be recovering from pregnancy. I’m 5’2″ as well and my third baby was huge — 10lbs 9oz. I think I’m still recovering from that delivery and he’s almost 2! I need to check into this core muscle thing – I’d never heard of it until recently but wonder if it could be the source of some of my back pain. I’m going to go see my doctor soon.

  7. Shannon
    April 26, 2013 at 10:55 am #

    Way to go mama! My prayers for you is that just the right inspirational song comes up at those times when the voice inside your head tells you to stop. You are strong enough!
    Shannon recently posted.. Driveway Opening Day…

  8. Siob
    April 26, 2013 at 11:14 am #

    I absolutely admire you!! Way to go Jen!

  9. Stacy Flores
    April 26, 2013 at 4:59 pm #

    You can do it! I started running 6 months ago post baby #3 (the finale as we call her). I used an app called C25k. I run with my neighbors which is great support. You are good enough and an amazing woman! Keep it up and let yourself enjoy it. Running is very peaceful for me (most days!).

  10. Mel
    May 8, 2013 at 9:13 am #

    Great job, just be grateful for every step and know that no matter what you are doing out there (walking, slow jog, running) you are taking steps in the right direction. I’m running from the pain of betrayal (long story) but being out there by myself (walking, slow jog, or medium jog) helps me to focus more on asking God to help change me, to turn the hurt I have gone through and am going through into something for His glory.

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