By: Jennifer Murray

Kids Say The Most Embarrassing Things

image Oh boy! (Times Four!) We have officially reached the milestone where our boys are using their verbal skills to be brutally honest and embarrass us until we are red in the face.  Oh JOY!

Would you like examples?  I have plenty; All which took place within a 24 hour window.

Brooks: Peaked over the booth and looked at the people sitting directly behind us at a restaurant and loudly exclaimed, “Mama, I saw an ANGRY man!” To which Clark argued that he did not see an angry man because Jesus didn’t make angry people.

Henry: After finishing that same meal, a busboy came over to clean our table. A friendly Hispanic man asked if we were finished with our plates.  Henry announced that the kind man cleaning up after our mess didn’t talk very good. To which Brad explained that bilingual people have much higher language skills than we do!

Isaac: While riding in a shuttle van, Henry told Brad that the driver (who did have some pretty wild hair) needed a haircut.  Brad quickly covered for him, and small talked with the driver who explained that he just had gotten a haircut.

Clark: After spotting an overweight woman entering the bank, Clark innocently and confidently told his brothers that the lady had a baby in her belly.

We are now entering a hysterically mortifying age with these boys.  Who knows what’s going to come out of their mouths next! I’m thinking age four will provide a book’s worth of embarrassing quotes from our family!

What about you? Do you have any embarrassing stories to share of how your kids have embarrassed you lately?  Or perhaps how you made your parents want to hide their head in the sand back in the day?

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28 Responses to “Kids Say The Most Embarrassing Things”

  1. megryansmom
    December 9, 2010 at 8:24 am #

    Many years ago, at my daughter’s baptism, she wouldn’t stop crying, so right there in front of God and the congregation, my son stated very loudly, “Mommy, she wants your boobies!” Kids, gotta love em! Have a great Thursday…oh did you win the Shoebox contest?

  2. Janet
    December 9, 2010 at 9:37 am #

    When I was back home for Thanksgiving, I was out shopping with my kiddos & my 6 year old nephew. A little person was in front of us in line. My nephew asked the lady, “hey shouldn’t you be at the north pole helping Santa make toys”. I tried to explain to him that God makes people in all shapes and sizes. He wasn’t interested. He was adamant that all little people must work for Santa. Then at dinner the same night our server was a man who had two gold front teeth. My nephew immediatly thought this was very cool. He said “hey mister, where did you get your shiney teeth from”. Luckily the man was very nice about it and explained to him that he did a bad job of brushing his teeth when he was a kid and his teeth fell out. But man, kids do say the darndest things! Merry Christmas!!

  3. Lauren Green
    December 9, 2010 at 9:40 am #

    Oh, that is so funny! I can see how embarrassing that can be for you and Brad. You never know what they are going to say next!

  4. Jessie's Girls
    December 9, 2010 at 10:58 am #

    Oh my, yes! I am always terrified of what will come out of my girl’s mouths next when anyone who looks, sounds, or acts “different” comes into the room. Nice recovery by Brad in praising the bi-lingual aspect. Sometimes its really hard to bring out a positive that quickly!
    And I guess we get to find out now if boys are really worse than girls in that department, since we are no longer an all-girl family :).

  5. KS Dallas
    December 9, 2010 at 11:06 am #

    My daughter was one of those that developed her verbal skills VERY early (and has never stopped talking since). At about 3 she pointed and said “mommy, look a fat lady”. I explained to her it was not nice to point at people and she logically asked me how I would know who she was talking about. I knew right then I was in trouble.

    The only other one that really sticks out in my head was seeing a black couple walk into a restaurant, my daughter says “mommy, look brown people”. Thankfully that was all she said. I could only imagine how much worse that situation could have been!

    I can’t wait to hear more of your boys’ commentary in the future!

  6. Suzy
    December 9, 2010 at 1:04 pm #

    HAHAHAA!!! Love it! And in a way, I can’t wait until our kids start doing stuff like this. It’s a good reminder to really watch what I say around them because they will soon repeat it, and most likely with a spin on it that would have never occurred to me! 🙂

    Keep up with me, Ted, and our Fab Four at four-by-two.blogspot.com.

  7. CJ
    December 9, 2010 at 1:07 pm #

    I was watching a friends four year old a few months ago – we went into the grocery store and he turned around and said there was “an old lady over there” I couldnt make out what he was saying and only asked him to repeat himself three times, before understanding. From her look, it appeared she understood him from the start…No quick witty recovery from me, just many shades of red 🙂 Good luck with your little ones 🙂

  8. Susan (5 Minutes for Mom)
    December 9, 2010 at 1:35 pm #

    Julia said (and still says) some very embarrassing things. Their sweet innocence and honesty just doesn’t always come out the right way.

  9. Barbara Manatee
    December 9, 2010 at 2:04 pm #

    ha! I just posted yesterday on some of the silly/embarrassing things my kids have said recently. One of the worst from last week was thanks to my daughter, in a public restroom (thankfully we were the only ones in it at the time…) She asked me if I was going poop or pee and when I said I had to poop, she said “Ewwwww Mom! Nobody wants to smell your poop!”

    agh!!

  10. Ruth
    December 9, 2010 at 6:15 pm #

    That’s great! I love this age. 😉

    When my son was 3 (last year) and I was pregnant, he asked me while we were in the bathroom together, “Mommy, why doesn’t your baby come out your butt?” And there was a very not-amused young lady in the bathroom with us. lol

    My husband took him in a public bathroom with him a couple months ago & when my husband had to use the toilet, they went into the stall, and my son said, “Daddy… you have hair EVERYwhere!!!” When my husband told me that one I cracked up so hard (there were other people in the restroom with him).

    There are so many more (some even more inappropriate. lol) but those are the 2 that come to mind. With having 4 boys, you’ll totally be able to make a book with their sayings. 😉

  11. Rachel
    December 9, 2010 at 6:20 pm #

    Ah, 4 year old boys! Love them!

    I volunteer in the science lab for my 4th grade son’s class. While I was teaching the class today, my 4 year old came over and wanted my attention. When I didn’t give it to him right away, he started unbuttoning my shirt. He got two buttons undone before I realized what he was doing. He stepped back and pointed at me, proud of himself. At which point the entire 4th grade class started laughing.

    I buttoned my shirt back, started up teaching again, and that little bugger did it again! He got such a great reaction the first time, he thought it would be funny to unbutton my shirt again. Only this time, he reached a little higher….

    Yeah. Love those 4 year old boys!

  12. Kara
    December 9, 2010 at 10:05 pm #

    These are HILARIOUS!! So funny from the mind of a three year old. Keep the “quotes” comin 😉

  13. Korigammon
    December 9, 2010 at 11:22 pm #

    My three year said the word truck without the tr and added an F, saying the F word for the longest time. We were so embarrassed and my husband even explained to his nursery teachers what he was really trying to say so they wouldn’t think we were teaching him horrible words.

    • QuatroMama
      December 10, 2010 at 2:32 pm #

      My face is red just thinking about this, Kori! =)

  14. Christina
    December 10, 2010 at 2:21 am #

    My then 5 year old had receive a bit of the birds in the bees IVF version (aka explanation of how she was helped into the world, which makes me wonder how I got a singelton out of IVF and mulitples without!) She was a smart cookie, knowing my best friend was pregnant with an Opps baby (not expected as she also struggled with infertility)
    So my then 5 year old at the main transit hub in town said to me one day.
    “So it (insert friends name) baby was an Opps why didn’t (insert her hubby’s name) keep his swimmer away from her egg.”
    I must have gone beet red and laughed my response was that would be a question to ask him!

    • QuatroMama
      December 10, 2010 at 2:31 pm #

      Oh. My. Goodness.
      At least there’s a little laughter to be had from “infertility”, right? I had multiples with no IVF too. Craziness.

  15. Gianna
    December 10, 2010 at 11:26 am #

    We were at a restaurant and the waitress was asking what we all wanted to drink. When it was my turn my daughter interrupted and told the waitress, “My mama only drinks at night.” You should have seen the look on her face. I mostly drink at night (iced tea and juice) because all my kids are always snatching my drinks all day long. She didn’t know that though LOL.

    • QuatroMama
      December 10, 2010 at 1:30 pm #

      Too funny! I bet you could have died!

  16. Lynn
    December 10, 2010 at 12:31 pm #

    Back in the day we would take the older four kids to the Children’s Museum in Indy. They loved to shake the hands of policemen etc. There was a security guard at the door and they all rushed up to shake his hand, the officer was a black man. Andrea was around 4 or 5 at the time. She shook his hand and just stared at him. All of us knew something was about to come out but none of us knew what. He too was wondering what was next. We were thinking that she would comment about the color of his skin, she opened her mouth and asked him, “Do your teeth come out? My father’s do!” We all breathed a sign of relief, laughed, and went on. The security officer found it quite funny.

  17. Anne Schrader
    December 10, 2010 at 12:48 pm #

    When Chelsie was 4, we took her in for her yearly check-up and part of that was a hearing screen. They had her wear these HUGE earphones, and about halfway through the test she calmly took them off, put them neatly on the table, sat back in her chair and said, “I don’t like those. I don’t want to wear them anymore.” The nurse said, “Honey, we need you to put those back on so we can see if you hear ok.” She looked at her with this smart look on her face and says, “Do you hear ok? I said I don’t want to wear them.”

    • QuatroMama
      December 10, 2010 at 1:28 pm #

      Hilarious, Anne! That’s classic!

  18. Becky
    December 10, 2010 at 5:10 pm #

    A couple years ago when Madelyn was potty training, I would sometimes sit in the bathroom with her waiting for her to go. She would spend most of that time talking and very little concentrating on her business. One day, she asked me what was on my face. I kindly explained it was a pimple. Her response: Oh, a nipple. I kinda giggled, but then she went right on talking about something else so I didn’t get a chance to properly correct her and forgot about it. A couple weeks later we were at Wal-Mart in the check out. The check out lady had a quite large dark mole on the side of her cheek. Madelyn in all her innocence says: Mom, look! She has a nipple on her face! The check out lady asked what she said and I quickly shushed Madelyn and said, “I don’t know, she talks all the time.” I could have ran screaming from the store. 🙂

  19. Danielle
    December 14, 2010 at 7:56 pm #

    Yes my Sam is four and OFTEN I want to hide my head in the sand! This week we have had
    -“mommy look he is so so black!”
    -“mommy why is that lady so fat? Did she eat too much?”
    -:Why does she talk so rude?”

  20. Marisol Perry
    December 21, 2010 at 7:44 pm #

    When Chelsie was 4, we took her in for her yearly check-up and part of that was a hearing screen. They had her wear these HUGE earphones, and about halfway through the test she calmly took them off, put them neatly on the table, sat back in her chair and said, “I don’t like those. I don’t want to wear them anymore.” The nurse said, “Honey, we need you to put those back on so we can see if you hear ok.” She looked at her with this smart look on her face and says, “Do you hear ok? I said I don’t want to wear them.”

  21. leslie
    December 22, 2010 at 9:07 am #

    My 2.5 year old has started pointing to people in malls, grocery stores, etc, and asking “What’s that crazy guy doing?”

    Luckily, the ‘crazy’ is not clear to most people, so usually they can’t understand what he’s saying… but still!!

  22. Sarah G
    December 22, 2010 at 4:32 pm #

    Just yesterday, I met my mom for lunch at Wendy’s. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, she watches our almost 4 yr old twin girls. This Wendy’s is close to a lot of offices, so it’s always crowded, yesterday being no exception. We made it through most of lunch without a hitch, so I knew something was going to happen. Out of nowhere, Abbie, our most verbal and most dramatic daughter, jumps out of her chair and starts dancing around like she has ants in her pants. Then she starts grabbing and digging furiously at her back side and yells at the top her lungs, “I HAVE AN ITCHY BUTT!!!!! I NEED BUTT CREAM!!!!” Of course the whole restaurant stops and stares at us.
    Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on who you are) I was running late and had to get back to work, so I had to leave my mother with Abbie’s hind end issues.

  23. Liz Stewart
    January 10, 2011 at 5:11 pm #

    My two year old repeats everything. This summer, my husband and I went to a Cubs game with some friends. A man in a hotdog suit handing out coupons came by, and one of my friends asked me to take a picture with him. The entire time I was trying to take the picture, the man was saying, “Eat me, Eat me.” That was the first thing my husband said when we pulled up the picture on the computer. My daughter walked around for weeks repeating it. It gets worse…we were at my dad’s for a family birthday party a few weeks later. I was showing my aunts how cute it was that she would repeat me when I got off the phone, so I said, “Lilya, what does mommy say on the phone.” She replied, “k, bye (which is how I usually end a phone conversation) and added eat me, eat me. I was so embarrassed!

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