By: Jennifer Murray

Turns Out I’m An Armadillo In Real Life.

Armadillo I thought I was at least part human, but turns out I’m pure Armadillo.

According to Wikipedia:

 “the Giant Armadillo grows up to 1.5 m (5 ft) and weighs 59 kg (130 lbs)”


There’s more…

“In the United States, the sole resident armadillo is the Nine-banded Armadillo (Dasypus novemcinctus), which is most common in the central southernmost states, particularly Texas. Their range is as far east as South Carolina and Florida and as far north as Nebraska; they have been consistently expanding their range over the last century due to a lack of natural predators and have been found as far north as Illinois, INDIANA, and southern Ontario.”

They’ve spotted me.

“Armadillos have poor vision.”


“When threatened by a predator, Tolypeutes species frequently roll up into a ball.”


“Armadillos have short legs but can move quite quickly”

Quite. Thank you.

“…it inflates its stomach and intestines with air”

It appears so.

“Armadillos are solitary animals that do not share their burrows with other adults.”

So what are they calling my husband?

But here’s the REAL kicker:


“Armadillos have FOUR BABIES at a time and they are always the SAME SEX.” (According to Snapple Real Fact #745)

Good Grief!  Seems I’m destined to become Road Kill!

Until we meet on the side of the road,

PS Thanks to my friend Julie, for passing along her Snapple cap to inspire this post!

14 Responses to “Turns Out I’m An Armadillo In Real Life.”

  1. Kate
    April 30, 2010 at 9:01 am #

    HAHAHA, that is hilarious!

  2. Marti
    April 30, 2010 at 9:06 am #

    Perfect! Thanks for the laugh.

  3. Tamara
    April 30, 2010 at 9:24 am #

    OMG, that's pretty funny!

  4. Karen
    April 30, 2010 at 10:12 am #

    That is hysterical! and seemingly true:) LOL!

  5. teresa
    April 30, 2010 at 12:41 pm #

    HaHaHaHa We know about armadillos. They like to burrow under our trailer in FL and are very determined. When I read that they "must have fleas" to stimulate the skin under their hard-shell, it just about sent me into a tizzy!!! I don't know about that solitary business. We had a couple of them around some winters and I was nervous about the possible arrival of "quad-illos".

    I sure like you lots more than armadillos. *hugs*

  6. Carey
    April 30, 2010 at 4:19 pm #

    You just made my Friday! I laughed out loud seriously!
    Be careful crossing the street 🙂

  7. thegypsymama
    April 30, 2010 at 4:32 pm #

    Oh you are just TOO much! I never thought I would want to be friends with an armadillo, but turns out now I do!! 😉

  8. Sonya
    April 30, 2010 at 7:16 pm #

    That's funny! I never knew that about armadillos!

  9. harriett1047
    May 1, 2010 at 6:30 pm #

    They are affectionslly known as "possum on the half shell"!

  10. David
    May 2, 2010 at 10:41 am #

    Very cool and very funny. Haven't seen any armadillos here in NC.

  11. anavar
    May 3, 2010 at 4:41 am #

    Is it true, or I just get the filling you compare yourself with armadillo?! Well… I hope you're taller than 5 ft and do have longer legs 😉

    Funny post!

  12. Calonder Crew
    May 3, 2010 at 10:06 pm #

    That is hilarious! Thanks for the giggle!

  13. The Krol Family
    May 4, 2010 at 1:27 am #

    Cute 😉
    I am a fellow armadillo then…quad BOYS too (plus a nearly 5 year old, you guessed it…BOY!)

    Thanks for the laugh!

  14. Desiree
    May 5, 2010 at 2:08 pm #


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